This tried and true office prank is simple, easy and effective. The only requirements are a stapler, ketchup packet and, of course, a victim. Your target is your business, and we’ll trust your motives are valid.

The Stapler Bomb works as follows:

Ketchup packet goes inside the stapler. Victim attempts to staple something. Hand hits stapler, stapler head hits ketchup packet, ketchup packet explodes with a satisfying POP. Ketchup goes everywhere. Chaos ensues.

You have a victim. You have valid motives. You even have a ketchup packet and stapler. Well, it’s time to get started…

Case the Joint and Have a Plan of Escape

It is important to know the habits of your victim. Study behavior, routines, patterns. Most worker bees are predictable, so finding their desk empty should be pretty easy.

It’s equally important to have a cover story… Carrying a binder will work in most situations. If the victim or a nosey co-worker ask what you’re doing, tell them you’re working on a “special project” for the boss. Sigh and give a disgusted look at the binder then ask them if they can help you out. Ninety-nine percent of the time they’ll make an excuse and quickly walk away. If not, drop the binder on the floor so all the fake papers you filled it with fall out. Franticly pick everything up and walk back to your desk.

Remember – your plan of attack is to take the stapler from their desk, that’s it. Do the dirty work somewhere private and you won’t get caught.

Work Quickly

The Bloody Stapler is as fast and simple as it is brilliant.

1. Open the stapler and remove the “follow spring.” You can either rip the fucker right out (ruining the stapler) or carefully unhook it. Ripping it out is fastest and most satisfying. Note: Save the spring for future “projects”

2. Slide the “follow block” towards the back hinge exposing the “magazine” (hey, it’s good to know the technical terms for these things).

3. Fold the ketchup packet, catsup if you’re an idiot, in half lengthwise.

4. Wedge the folded ketchup packet into the front end of the magazine. Note: This will work better with heavy duty office staplers which tend to be slightly larger and more accommodating. If it doesn’t fit poke a hole in the packet and drain some ketchup.

5. Carefully close the top, or “metal head,” and return the stapler to the victim’s desk.

Warning: It’s important that no one see you with the stapler, or any stapler for that matter. Once the stapler bomb goes off your victim will freak the fuck out. Office supplies have been destroyed, important documents soiled and clothing ruined.

Aftermath

There will be screaming. Come running and exclaim “Oh my god VICTIM’S NAME stapled his/her hand!” Immediately go for the first aid kit. This will most definitely shield you from suspicion. When it’s realized that the bloody mess is in fact ketchup you’ll look like a concerned colleague. Someone is bound to laugh or say something stupid – they’ll get blamed. Go with it.

Do you have a favorite office prank? Was your Stapler Bomb a blast? Post a comment and let us know.