Altoids Tin
An Altoids tin, or something similarly innocuous, to house and conceal your Evil Toolkit. Just be sure that no one goes looking inside.
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Mini Flashlight
Perfect for power outages, reading in the janitor closet, or completing an Office Evil Challenge in a low light situation.
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Assorted Pills
You never know what a day at the office is going to throw at you — hangovers, anxiety, nausea. Best to be prepared for anything and everything.
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Screw and Bolt Bits
Short enough to fit in the Toolkit, long enough to manipulate with your fingers. A range of mini flathead, phillips, hex, and torx bits are a must.
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Cold, Hard, Cash
At least two hundred dollars in a variety of denominations. You never know who you’re going to need to bribe — ASSistants, janitors, security guards… The five gets you in, the twenty gets you out, and a hundred solves most any problem you’ll encounter.
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Band Aids
Sometimes Evil hurts. Best to have a few band aids for the inevitable nicks, cuts, and stab wounds.
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Hex Keys
A compliment to your bits — these can also eject CDs and DVDs, or help in simple lock-pick scenarios.
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Lighter
Where would man be without fire? No Evil Toolkit is complete without Prometheus’ gift. Depending on the situation, matches will do.
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Super Glue
An unlimited resource for Evil, Super Glue is a definite must have. Just don’t start huffing it… Unless your really want to.
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Toothpicks
From cleaning your teeth to jamming door locks, the common toothpick will play a pivotal role in many Evil Missions.
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Various Blades
An Xacto blade and an Army P-38 can opener will cut apart or open up most things you’ll come across in the office. From cracking open a beer to stripping some wires — just watch the fingers or you’ll need the band aids. Bloody Evil is bad Evil.
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Un-Lubricated, Spermicide Free Condom
A little latex love glove goes a long way. Well, typically only ball deep, but Office Evil will show you some other uses for it.
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Rubber Bands
Stretch, shoot, sling, tie, twang… What you need, a rubber band has got. Pack a variety of sizes for maximum Evil.
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Pencil
Sometimes you’ll need to take notes. Sometimes you’ll want to leave a note. No one should ever be caught without a writing implement.
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USB Memory Drive
Perfect for transferring files to and from a mark’s machine. Also useful as a bootloader.
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Wires
Just a few wires for shorting out fuses and bypassing circuits…
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Dental Floss
Oral hygiene is a must. Once your teeth are clean floss works well for tying things up or tying things down.
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Assorted Tape
Short pieces of duct, electrical, and cellophane tape. These are stuck on the inside of your Toolkit lid to be pulled off quickly and used when needed.
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Zip Ties
An indispensable, all purpose tie — carry multiple sizes. These will come to your aid time and time again.
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Pins and Clips
Push, paper, safety, bobby — you can never have too many pins and clips. These beauties will work as lock picks, clothes fasteners, torture devices… you name it, they’ll do it.
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Miniature Tweezers
Straight out of a standard eye glass repair kit. With a pair of these you’ll be able to pick up anything… Hopefully it won’t be Herpes from the boss.
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Sanitizing Wipes
Cause Evil gets dirty and it’s always best to keep your hands clean.
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